February 1, 2020 – J.J. Watt / Luke Combs (S45 E12) [THROWBACK REVIEW]

Cold Open – The Trial You Wish You Had Happened

• Already, I can tell I’m in for a lame cold open. Not to mention the fact that the opening text crawl seemed way too similar to the Days of Our Impeachment open.
• Fun entrance from Kenan.
• At least we have Beck as Mitch McConnell here.
• Ugh! Kate’s self-indulgent Lindsey Graham impression. Hoo, boy, I don’t think I’m gonna like this.
• Kate’s Graham is still as insufferable as usual, not helped by that voice she’s using.
• I got a chuckle from Kenan’s delivery of “I’m done with this nonsense”.
• Cecily as John Bolton? Yep, it’s official: at this point, they’re just trolling us.
• Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhh, I think it was a terrible decision to give this role to Cecily.
• Kenan’s providing my only amusement in this open so far.
• I got another chuckle from Pete entering on a segway, which unintentionally emphasizes his height.
• Lame dialogue from Pete.
• Ugh, give the fake sponsors a fucking REST.
• Aaaaaaaannnnnd now we have Trumpwin to make this open even worse. Thankfully, this is the last time I have to review him.
• Lame Harvey Weinstein line from Trumpwin.
• Amusing cutaway to Alex.
• Now this turns into a parody of My Cousin Vinny? Yeah, just end this open now before I lose my damn mind.
• Ugh, make this speech from Trumpwin STOP.
• And now we have Beck’s McConnell sing a very long musical number? For fuck’s sake, JUST END!!!
• The usual shitty cold open.

Rating: *½ (the latter for Kenan)

Monologue

• Right out of the gate, I’m liking J.J.’s delivery.
• Some good laughs from J.J. explaining that the writers are very clueless when it comes to football, and that he has to explain it to them.
• J.J.: “Dude, it’s Saturday Night Live. How the hell am I supposed to know? I don’t work there.”
• J.J. has plenty of funny lines in regards to his own family.
• Funny ending spiel from J.J. about whether or not he would trade hosting SNL for the Super Bowl.

Rating: ***

Frozen II

• The casting of Kate as Elsa is kinda fitting.
• A good laugh from Kate randomly saying “I’m gay” during the moment where she’s wandering around wondering where everyone is.
• Part of me is starting to wonder how much funnier it would be if everyone in this sketch didn’t make too much of a big deal out of Kate randomly saying “gay” every few words, and just acted as if everything was normal.
• Not too sure if I wanna hear Cecily sing.
• I’m not gonna lie, I feel like this humor is actually working more for me here than it usually does on SNL.
• Boy, J.J. isn’t even trying to hide the fact that he’s looking at the cue cards when he says “That I’m poor so you can control me?”.
• J.J.’s whole “Big and Woke” song is making me laugh, mainly due to that bizarre voice he’s using when singing it.
• I love the part where Beck hastily cuts off the new song.
• Great walk-on from Kenan as a black guard.
• Kenan’s delivery of his ending line made me laugh so much.
• Meh, the part where Kate gets all meta isn’t doing much for me.
• The second consecutive episode where Mikey plays a role that requires us to barely see his face.

Rating: ***½

Robbie

• Already, I’m onboard with the tone of this short.
• Solid dramatic acting from Mikey and Beck.
• A good turn with J.J. getting up and making it look like he supports the other players, only for him to burst out “F(*bleep*)k no”.
• J.J.’s delivery is making me laugh way more than it should.
• The humor here seems rather mean-spiritied, but it’s working more for me here than in The Loser short from the following season’s John Krasinski episode.
• Kenan’s able to get laughs from me without saying a word.
• I love Kenan’s whole portion.
• The whole “different play” part is making me laugh so much.

Rating: ****

Sex Talk

• J.J.’s look and voice in this sketch are giving me Blake Shelton vibes.
• Very funny cheesy lines from J.J. as the father.
• Solid disgusted reactions from Kyle.
• Pretty good laughs from the overly specific sex details from J.J.
• Aidy’s delivery is making me laugh, but I feel like she did this role before to better effect.
• Good reaction from J.J. after Kyle reveals that he’s bisexual.
• Good ending.

Rating: ***½

Olay Eye Black

• Another fun performance from J.J. tonight, even if he’s playing himself.
• Great reveal of the product, even though this premise has been done before (Beta Force) and after (Men’s Cosmetics).
• I love how J.J. takes his ridiculous eyeliner too seriously.
• The whole “gay” bit between Beck and J.J. made me laugh.
• Hilarious cutaway to Alex and the product he’s wearing. I also love how casually he takes it.
• Great ending.

Rating: ****

Musical Performance – “Lovin’ on You”

• Just from the intro, I can tell I’m not gonna care for this song.
• Ugh, these opening lyrics.
• The guitars are very solid, but this type of music always sounds self-satisfied to me, and this is no exception.
• Luke’s singing voice is honestly pretty grating to listen to.
• I kinda like the guitar after the second chorus, but again, that’s something you’d expect in modern shitty country music.
• Overall, despite their best efforts, I did not care for that song.

Rating: **

Weekend Update

• Solid opening impeachment rant from Colin as usual.
• Michael: “I can’t be a Democrat and a Knicks fan.”
• I liked Colin’s “Jared Kushner/lube man” joke.
• Colin: “Sounds like someone’s dad is about to bulldoze the community center.”
• As usual, mixed feelings on Bowen’s Chen Biao.
• Yeah, so far, this commentary is kinda a wash, and it’s generating no reactions from me whatsoever. Safe to say that Bowen’s Chen Biao is not my thing.
• I liked Colin’s “Harvey Weinstein/Willy Wonka” joke.
• I liked Michael’s hotel joke.
• I believe this is Ego’s first ever Update commentary, but I could be forgetting something from Season 44. Let me know in the comments if I’m missing something.
• Already off to a good start with Ego’s “Yeah, we do” after Colin says that we’ve got one more day to celebrate black history due to it being a leap year.
• Now we’re starting to take off with Ego’s following line: “Cynthia is a bitch I thought was my friend”.
• Ego’s giving a very solid performance in this commentary, immediately showing signs of how good she’ll end up being in Season 46.
• I love how Ego’s explanation to every black person she mentions is tied to Black History Month is “They’re black, and they’re history”.
• A big laugh from Ego showing us a photo of herself, only for her to reveal it’s her twin sister.

Rating: ***½

Pilot Hunk

• Our sixth and so far final installment of the annual “Can I steal him for a sec?” sketches previously done from Seasons 40-44.
• J.J.’s great as a typical cheesy bachelor.
• (*sigh*) There goes Cecily using that voice AGAIN.
• This is starting to hit the same beats as the previous installments of this sketch.
• Aidy’s cracking me up in her scene. Probably the last time you’ll hear me say something positive about Aidy.
• I love Aidy’s line about her mouth being a vacuum hose.
• Good bit with Kate’s letter actually being a simple letter (t).
• I’m getting a little tired of the constant usage of “Mm, I like this”.
• Funny bit with J.J. calling on guards to kidnap Melissa, though his delivery of “guards” seemed slightly stiff.
• I liked Ego’s line about her having died in the last episode.
• Geez, is this Chloe’s first appearance all night? Damn.
• Another funny bit, this time involving Chloe having another face on her back, and J.J. cheesily looking at the camera and saying “Nice, a threesome”.
• Okay, this sketch is starting to go on a little too long.

Rating: ***½

Madden 21

• Already off to a good start with one of J.J.’s lines being “Dammit, I couldn’t catch that guy”.
• I love J.J.’s delivery of “God, I suck today”.
• J.J.’s a great straight man in this sketch.
• The lines that J.J. reads are a riot, made even better by his delivery of them.
• A huge oh-so-wrong laugh from one of J.J.’s lines being “Suck on that, wheelchair boy”.
• I love how deformed J.J.’s avatar is.
• The premise for this sketch would later be redone in the Cars 4 sketch from the Season 47 premiere with Owen Wilson. I can’t decide which version I like better.

Rating: ****

Food Dudes

• Already off to a good start with Beck ordering way too much food, and being completely lost when Melissa asks her how many people are eating with him.
• Ooh, I’m already onboard with this premise.
• The various details about these Food Dudes are an absolute riot.
• A huge laugh from the monotone voices of all the Food Dudes.
• Kyle’s cheesy “Thanks, Food Dudes” made me laugh.
• Kenan’s whole scene is cracking me up.
• Overall, a hidden gem.

Rating: ****½

Musical Performance – “Beer Never Broke My Heart”

• Ugh, these opening lyrics.
• I kinda like the instrumental, but once again, it sounds way too similar to modern country music.
• Yeah, it was probably a bad idea to have someone like him as a musical guest. This song is honestly pretty terrible so far.
• I had next to nothing to say about that. So blah.
• We’re 12 episodes in, and there has yet to be a single musical performance that stood out to me as great. David Byrne cannot come soon enough for me.

Rating: **

My Fair Bigfoot

• Amusing opening conversation between Bowen and Alex.
• Good makeup on J.J. as Bigfoot.
• Boy, is J.J. obviously staring at the cue cards.
• Oh, so now this turns into a bathroom humor sketch? Yeah, not too sure if this sketch needed that.
• Kenan’s whole description of the incident is making me laugh.
• J.J.’s whole spiel while playing the harp is funny.
• Wait, it’s over already? Well, I wasn’t too crazy about that sketch’s material, but it wasn’t terrible.

Rating: **½

Big Willie’s Pizza

• Already, I love the look of this sketch, and J.J.’s giving a solid performance.
• Cecily and Heidi are a bit predictable as the typical porno girls, but it’s working for me.
• Now we’re taking a good turn with J.J. entering Kenan’s office.
• A big laugh from the reveal that J.J.’s box had a hole in it.
• I love the line about Kenan having eaten the whole pizza.
• Kenan’s delivery when answering the phone is cracking me up.
• Man, Kenan has a lot of priceless lines so far.
• I love the bit with Kenan acting lusty when demanding something from J.J., and then getting mad when J.J. assumes he wants to have sex.
• Great ending.
• Overall, a hidden gem.

Rating: ****½

Final Thoughts

• Another solid Season 45 episode, though not as strong as the last three episodes. After the show got the usual shitty cold open out of the way, there was a very comfortable consistency throughout the night, as there were no bad segments found aside from Bigfoot (and even that wasn’t terrible), and there were a few hidden gems (Food Dudes, Big Willie’s Pizza). J.J. Watt was surprisingly good for an athlete host.

Rating: ***½

Tomorrow:

RuPaul