November 12, 1994 – Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M. (S20 E5) [THROWBACK REVIEW]

Lord have mercy for what I’m about to walk into.

Cold Open – Decision 94

• Kinda hard to judge this fairly right from the start, as I’m pretty sure part of the beginning got cut off.
• I’m liking Elliott’s performance.
• I kinda like the running gag with various offscreen people calling out Elliott for getting facts wrong.
• It kinda bothers me that Laura doesn’t really get much to do other than just stand there silently. Then again, this is Season 20, so what else do you expect?
• Tim’s silent goofy-faced expression as Rick James is kinda funny. Not too sure what to make of Jay’s facial expressions, though.
• Overall, while this wasn’t too great, it had some good moments that made it tolerable. Maybe I’m being somewhat nice because I’m aware of what tonight’s episode has in store for me.

Rating: ***

Monologue

• Not caring too much for Sarah’s joyful demeanor, regardless of whether or not it’s intentional.
• I’m not really liking the way Sarah sets up this musical number.
• I actually tolerate “Tomorrow” a tad bit more than Stooge, but this really isn’t working for me so far. None of Sarah’s asides are even remotely funny.
• I kinda like the bit where David says they don’t like “Tomorrow”, but I think I’m just desperate for a laugh at this point.
• Overall, not a single laugh from me throughout this entire monologue, which ALREADY has me worried about what this episode has in store for me. And given its well-known quality, that’s not a good thing.

Rating: *

Eterna Rest

• I want to like this, as the idea behind it is kinda funny, but this ad is being played way too straight for my likings. If this ad were done in the 95-02 era, they’d probably handle it better. Another thing that doesn’t help is Michael’s performance, which is a bit too stiff.

Rating: *½

Good Morning Brooklyn

• Really, a talk show sketch centered around New York stereotypes? Well, THIS should end well…
• Oof. So far, I’m not caring for these stereotypes AT ALL. Some performers make this work, but Jay and Sarah’s performances aren’t really good and are making this far worse than it should be.
• Wow, Jeaneane’s performance here is so half-assed, and it’s not even hilariously bad.
• Jay seems to be slipping in some Colin Quinn mannerisms in his delivery towards Jeaneane.
• I swear to God, if I hear Michael say “fuhgeddaboutit” one more time…
• Adam playing an Adam Sandler-esque role, I see.
• Wow, that fake movie clip felt absolutely DEAD. I’m not even sure what the joke there was, and the lack of audience reaction certainly didn’t help.
• Okay, I do kinda like the brief interaction between Jay and Adam.
• Oh God, now we get Farley playing a Farley-esque role? Yeah, just end this sketch NOW.
• (*sigh*) Now he’s reaching into his Matt Foley voice after being kicked in the crotch.
• Overall, I barely got any laughs from this sketch.

Rating: *½

Alternating Guitarists

• Nice singing voice from Michael.
• This duet between Sarah and Michael is nice, but…where exactly are the jokes?
• Adam playing yet another Adam Sandler-esque role, I see.
• The transition from the rock song to the acoustic song felt way too abrupt.
• Yeah, the more this goes on, the less I’m really caring for this sketch. The contrast that started funny at first has now completely lost its steam.
• Tim’s performance is kinda fun, but I think I’m just desperate to find something to like here.
• WTF was with that ending?

Rating: *

Weekend Update

• Norm, save me from this episode!
• Similar to what I said about Colin Jost’s delivery in his first Update, you can see glimpses of Norm’s well-loved persona, but he still has a tad bit of stiffness in him in these early Updates of his. Unlike Colin, I mainly chalk this up to him trying to figure out his identity, as he was already a reliable cast member at this point of his tenure.
• The jokes tonight aren’t exactly the Norm material that I know and love, but his delivery always makes these jokes work.
• Norm’s delivery of “just like a snake” is priceless, and is the type of joke that only Norm can sell. I think the reason why I have more goodwill towards it is because it was shown in a reel of Norm highlights in the S47 premiere after his death.
• Another great joke from Norm, this time in regards to the inventor of frontal lobotomy.
• Ha, Norm’s joke about Liza Minelli receives some loud boos from the audience.
• Not sure if I need to hear a mention of George Foreman, given his infamous hosting stint later this season.
• Huh, I thought that Adam played one of the cult members in tonight’s Update, but it turns out he’s playing a different character named Gil Graham.
• Adam playing yet ANOTHER Adam Sandler-esque role here, I see.
• I actually like Adam more than Blood, but I’m not really caring for this commentary so far. It’s mostly just washing over me, and barely any funny lines are to be found here.
• Is it just me, or does Adam sound like he’s on the verge of cracking up at one point during this commentary?
• Ha, we get a variation of the classic “Germans love David Hasselhoff” joke. Classic Norm. He never fails to get laughs from those simple phrases…or so the Germans would have us believe.

Rating: ***½

Fortune Cookie Factory

• OH MOTHERFUCKING NO. As if tonight hasn’t been bad enough, we now get Mike Myers playing an Asian stereotype. (*groan*)
• David playing another snarky prick, I see.
• Only a minute or two into this sketch, and man, what the hell am I watching? Not only is this unfunny, but it’s also bordering on downright offensive.
• Boy, Sarah’s delivery is pretty bad.
• Ugh, I am really not caring for this sketch.
• I have no idea what to make of this turn with Farley entering in smoke.
• WTF with that voice Farley’s using?
• This part with Farley is going on way too long.
• Why does this stink of self-satisfaction the more it goes on? That might have to do with the fact that it’s both unfunny and dragging longer than it should. Please end this NOW.
• Mercifully, this is over. Oof. Fuck this sketch, to say the least.

Rating: *

The Casting Couch

• Maybe it’s just me, but the lack of audience reaction is starting to make this feel a bit more dead than I fear it will be.
• Knowing the main premise of this sketch in hindsight, I’m pretty much dreading the part where that hits full swing.
• My God, I’m beginning to think that we’ve always been at that point, as the skeeviness here is downright uncomfortable, and likely doesn’t hold up too well in today’s age.
• How exactly does something like this make it past dress? Am I supposed to find this funny? How am I supposed to laugh my ass off at a Hollywood producer creepily hitting on an actress while interviewing her?!
• Not caring for the running bit with Michael mentioning tips to Sarah.
• Overall, yet ANOTHER loathsome low in an episode filled with almost nothing but loathsome lows.

Rating: *

Munchkinland

• (*sigh*) As if tonight’s episode wasn’t bad enough, we now get a sketch that’s highly regarded as one of the worst SNL sketches of all time. I’ve seen this before, and trust me, I haaaaaaattte this sketch.
• Wow, Jeaneane’s putting zero effort into her performance. This is understandable when you learn of the backstage horror stories behind this sketch, as Jeaneane apparently didn’t want to do this sketch AT ALL.
• The onscreen graphic of the bubble is cheap as hell, and it serves as a somewhat jarring contrast to the expensive-looking set.
• Jeaneane slipped up her pronunciation of “Gail”, instead pronouncing it as “goyle” (at least that’s how I’m hearing it).
• (*groan*) I don’t need to hear Sarah sing, given how much I hated the monologue.
• Farley playing another Farley-esque role. What else is new?
• Oh God, and there’s the main comedic conceit: the munchkins wanting Dorothy to leave.
• David and Ellen are also putting no effort in their performances.
• My God, this sketch is so painfully one-note, a note that is not only unfunny, but also downright mean-spirited. And said mean-spiritedness is UNCOMFORTABLE to watch.
• Ha, you can unintentionally see Adam, Tim, and Elliott’s real legs behind their fake ones. That alone is funnier to me than this entire sketch.
• Ugh, this sketch is so goddamn INSUFFERABLE.
• Awful ending, essentially repeating the same joke.
• Overall, my GOD, did I hate this. Hands down, HANDS DOWN, one of the worst SNL sketches I’ve ever seen, right up there with a certain other infamous sketch that I’ll be covering in a later throwback review (hint: it involves Amy Poehler turning into a skeleton).

Rating: *

Michael O’Donoghue Tribute

• Ah, nice to see Bill Murray make a cameo, and I especially welcome it here, as tonight’s episode has been DIRE.
• Bill’s speech is both inspiring and very funny, especially his talk about Michael O’Donoghue going to Hell.
• A nice encore presentation of an old Mr. Mike sketch, and this piece is far better than ANYTHING we got in tonight’s episode (not counting R.E.M.’s performances).

Rating: N/A (segments like this don’t warrant a rating, which is a shame, as tonight’s episode could really use a strong segment)

Final Thoughts

• No. Just…NO. What a dreadful, DREADFUL episode. Aside from the cold open and Update, I didn’t care for ANYTHING tonight. Not only that, but all the segments I didn’t like were downright BRUTAL. The post-Update half in particular was unwatchable, with all three segments not only receiving the lowest-of-low one star rating, but also being offensive, uncomfortable, and just plain unfunny. All of this gets an oof rating from me.
• If I have to say anything positive about tonight’s episode, it’s that the great music from R.E.M. helped me get through it, similar to how Ella Mai helped me in surviving Steve Carell in S44. And with the quality of tonight’s episode and how this season as a whole almost led to the show’s cancellation, I guess you could say that this truly is the end of the world as we know it (and I don’t feel fine).