February 28, 2015 – Dakota Johnson / Alabama Shakes (S40 E14) [THROWBACK REVIEW]

Cold Open – Giuliani Birdman

• Boy, Taran’s Giuliani impression is pretty lousy, though I guess it’s automatically better than Kate McKinnon’s nightmare-fueling impression of him.
• Ooh, an interesting change of pace with this being a spoof of Birdman. That probably explains Taran’s non-attempt at impersonating Giuliani.
• I’m enjoying how Taran’s slowly transforming into a Michael Keaton impression, particularly with the facial expressions.
• Interesting seeing the host in the cold open.
• Wow, that’s gotta be the most in character I’ve ever seen Dakota.
• For a moment, I thought Beck was playing Jeb Bush. I think the outfit threw me off.
• Great ending with the fire alarm.
• An overall solid cold open.

Rating: ***½

Monologue

• Y’know, I normally enjoy Dakota talking, especially when she’s on The Tonight Show, but her delivery and timing of her jokes is pretty off-putting. It doesn’t help that the jokes she’s given are kinda lame. In fact, I’m not entirely sure if anyone could make that Oscars joke work. Not a good sign of things to come.
• Ah, at least we have Kyle to give me something to enjoy right now.
• Meh, the part with Kyle and Kate isn’t really doing much for me.
• An interesting story from Dakota about how her father, Don Johnson, proposed to her mother, Melanie Griffith.
• Don Johnson’s line about him and Melanie being worried about their daughter being naked gave me my first real laugh in this otherwise dull monologue.

Rating: **

ISIS

• Here’s a rather infamous fake ad. In all honesty, I haven’t bothered to watch it until now, so this should be interesting.
• The very straight conversation between Taran and Dakota is honestly making me uncomfortable.
• Oof at the ISIS reveal. Just unfunny and desperate.
• Overall, I can definitely see why this ad was considered controversial (and it’s not because of the subject matter).

Rating: **

Cinderella

• Solid performances from Taran, Bobby, and Kyle.
• OH MOTHERFUCKING NO!! Now this has turned into a Cathy Anne sketch?! (*groan*)
• Ugh, I’m already REALLY bored and annoyed by all of Cecily’s unfunny ramblings, made even worse by that unbearable voice she’s using.
• Cecily’s talk about Dakota being drug-free is particularly groanworthy.
• Terrible ending.
• Overall, this was brutal. Man, aside from the cold open, I have not been enjoying tonight’s episode so far.

Rating: *

Say What You Wanna Say

• An okay premise of women “saying what they wanna say”. Though, to be honest, when I first heard about this short, I thought it would be a spoof of that Sara Bareilles song rather than have the actual song play in the background.
• Aidy celebrating her own freedom is pretty funny, mainly due to her facial expressions.
• Meh, the joke is getting kinda old as this short progresses.
• Cecily’s “give me the whole thing” bit made me laugh the most.

Rating: ***

Press Junket

• Good characterization from Kyle.
• Some okay laughs from Kyle’s childish questions towards Dakota. If only Dakota’s straight man performance was better.
• Kate’s facial expression after Kyle says he saw Fifty Shades of Grey made me laugh.
• Kyle’s conversation with Dakota after Kate leaves is pretty endearing. This sketch is probably more cute than funny, but it’s decent enough.
• Meh, a “newspaper headline” ending.

Rating: ***

I Can’t

• Ugh, we’ve barely started, and I already am dreading what’s to come.
• Blah, this stinks of bad Anderlette writing. I mean, who even talks like that? This is a problem that I had with that godawful Gen-Z Hospital sketch.
• Well, at least Dakota looks good in that outfit.
• Why is Aidy playing a woman with two broken arms?
• I do admit to liking Aidy and Bobby’s deliveries, though that’s mainly a testament to their strengths as performers, as their dialogue is really lame.
• Did Dakota just give up when she said “do this”? Something about the way she said it really bugged me.
• Lame ending with Aidy falling to her death.

Rating: *½

Weekend Update

• Colin’s “windowless van” joke is so wrong, but I liked it.
• A lot of Colin and Michael’s jokes so far are okay.
• The Update debut of Kate’s Ruth Bader Ginsburg impression. Meh, I never cared much for these commentaries.
• Right from this debut, this commentary is boring me so far. I really don’t care for all of Kate’s “Ginsburns”, nor the dance breaks in between.
• Oof at the Chris Brown joke.
• Oh, I forgot about this whole Kanye/Beck story. In all honesty, this story just sounds like typical Kanye.
• I do at least enjoy Jay’s Kanye impression, even if Chris Redd’s impression is technically better.
• Jay shouting his apology to Colin did make me laugh due to how loud it was.
• The turn with Jay rapping an apology song did seem interesting, but the result is only mildly funny at best.
• Michael ad-libbing “so dumb” after one of Colin’s jokes got a chuckle from me.
• Ha, a sudden appearance of Riblet. This oughta be interesting, seeing as how the other two guest commentaries we’ve gotten so far have been pretty underwhelming.
• Bobby’s alternation between his over-the-top Riblet persona and the straitlaced anchor is both impressive and hilarious.
• Fitting that we have a joke about J.K. Simmons, since he hosted the previous episode.
• Very funny how Riblet keeps thinking that Star Wars characters are real.
• Mikey Day sighting!
• Riblet’s commentary was very enjoyable, but I didn’t care too much for the other two commentaries tonight, and the jokes were just okay at best.

Rating: ***

Emergency Room

• Here’s another infamous sketch.
• Pretty funny reveal of Kenan dressed as Dr. Worf, and the voice he’s using is making me laugh more than it should.
• Is it just me, or was Dakota’s delivery of “you look so stupid” not in character? She looked embarrassed to say that line.
• Uh, where exactly is this sketch going? The initial concept was funny at first, but it’s become obvious that this sketch has nothing going for it aside from that.
• Pete’s excitement at seeing Kenan did make me chuckle.
• Lame ending.
• I’m sure SNL means well when they put up that tribute card for Leonard Nimoy, but it comes off out-of-place in such an unfunny sketch.
• Speaking of the tribute card, you’re probably expecting me to address the little thing that happens right as it fades in. However, Stooge and Blood have described it in much better detail than I’m able to, so I won’t bother. For now, all I say is that if you want to know what I’m talking about, read their reviews on this episode.

Rating: *½

Net Effect

• Right off the bat, this premise doesn’t sound like it’s for me, despite me being a big Internet guy.
• The performances are kinda amusing, but the dialogue is boring me.
• Speaking of performances, I find myself wondering: why is Dakota switching voices? Sometimes it’s high-pitched, other times she’s using her normal voice.
• Bobby’s porno rant is great. Angry Bobby always works for me.
• Not sure about this turn with Taran slapping everyone.
• Dakota’s delivery of “harder” actually worked for me.

Rating: **

Mr. Riot Films

• Ah, thank God Beck and Kyle are here to give something to enjoy.
• So far, I’m loving the low-budget feel of this short.
• The short on bullying was really funny.
• Every single short so far is hilarious, especially the combination of Beck and Kyle’s intentionally-terrible acting and forced morals.
• An overall strong way to end the night.

Rating: ****

Cut for Time: New Playroom

• I love Kyle, but I really do not buy him in this role.
• I normally enjoy it whenever Bobby talks in a New York/New Jersey-type accent.
• Taran and Bobby’s performances are good, but the material so far is losing me.
• The cutaways to Kenan and Jay weren’t as funny as they should’ve been.
• Weak ending.

Rating: **½

Final Thoughts

• A weak episode. Barely anything in this episode stood out as strong, and there were plenty of segments that I just plain did not care for, and I was left bored for most of the night. And the bad stuff in this episode was REALLY bad. Further contributing to the quality was Dakota Johnson, who seemed to use the same low-volumed delivery for pretty much every segment she was in, and it was pretty hard to watch.
• If there is one thing I would like to praise, it would be the performances from Alabama Shakes, as the music they performed tonight was friggin’ awesome. Then again, you probably already knew that since I covered them before.